I really just wanted to update my journal because the old entry was over a year ago. I already said at the start of me coming here this isn't my active posting place anyway but it's time for my annual (but infrequent) "What's going on" post where I post about my life....and what goes on in it.

Reminder, I'm a real person and not a robot so I don't take kindly to people who are insensitive/dismissive and tries to minimize when someone is only expressing themselves as a genuine human being- not some clown or overly machismo tough guy.

The good:

✔️ Went to Japan for the first time. Amazing experience, would go again in the distant future.

✔️ Started a Youtube hobby channel, both out of passion and to learn how to edit videos.

✔️ Got a few large commissions earlier this year and two people ended up tattooing said commission on their body with my permission. That was neat and felt like some kind of milestone.

✔️ Went to a fan convention for the first time since 2018. (It was okay considering a lot has changed)

✔️ Got into a couple of series and games that I'm invested in, some more than others.

✔️ Made my first ever 'true' Pathfinder character and should start my first game here soon. (Had a lot of unsuccessful play attempts in the past, but now, this one looks to be about as promising as it can get)

✔️ Had my first win on Art Fight (Felt nice since I just so happened to be on a losing team since 2022)

The Bad:

❌ This year has been heavy handed on the death tolls, both in my life and other areas regarding my interests. Had a death in my family back in June that really hit me and my spouse ultra hard. I haven't exactly been the same since. It's been shown that trauma can rewire the brain and as a result you can emotionally & physically function differently after that, and well, yeah, I know from experience. In addition, I had another personal circle death back in April- but that one wasn't as bad or haunting as the one in June. In a way, it gets easier as time goes on, even if at one point time felt like it stopped completely (and showed resistance of moving on). I learned a lot from that experience in June. It's going to be okay, but it's going to be different.

❌ Things, especially art things, have been much slower business wise and have hit record slow pace. It's cut into my ability to draw personally but Getting some more work my way would certainly improve things as art is my only income.

❌ Mental health/Anxiety, stress amounts and energy levels have not been optimal since June due to the heavy loss and the rest of everything piling onto it out of my control isn't helping. June's toll on me also caused me to rethink some things and put some others into perspective, not all of them pleasant.

❌ As well as myself not being in the best of places, several friends are also going through some fairly rough patches alongside me. The current zeitgeist of the world also sucks with everything seeming like a popularity contest. All the above doesn't help my previous postulate either. I am massively tired and I am massively tired of people talking to or over one another and not "with" one another.

❌There's been a few more things happen since our move from last year that qualify as 'negatives', but I don't want to make those public currently.

In a way, things register as eerily neutral- where I can't tell if the bad or good is outweighing the other. That said, I truly am trying my best to find 'my new normal' in life right now in the face of it all- including wanting to continue making merch and aiming to vend at art festivals as well as my other ambitions. Ever since June, I just have not been able to draw like I've wanted to and really put forth the creative efforts like I know I'm capable of. It's not a race nor a competition, but I have my own personal goals keeping me going and it makes me feel better when I actually do work towards it and gain progress. I'm obviously still drawing and taking commissions, just not at the rate I was before that loss in the family and my energy bottomed out. I *might* do another art challenge before the year ends (I considered starting Smaugust but tbh, even if it is the Year of the Dragon, I just had too many things on my mind to see its completion this year)

If I were to give this year a letter grade so far, it's roughly a steaming D- or a high F.

That's pretty much all I've got for right now- Until next time.

I have a whole gallery here on NG to keep viewers busy until then, and if you've already browsed it- consider following me on my other accounts/pages for more artwork and exclusive posts that you haven't seen.

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